The thing that people don’t seem to realise about London is that many stations, particularly within central London, are close enough that you could walk to the next station in the time it takes to get all the way underground, wait for a train, then get all the way back up again.

This results in people planning their route and naively assuming it will be straightforward. That changing between two lines in one station with one name will be a simple and worthwhile task.

Not so. The London Underground system is very old and has had bits added on and taken away over time. It’s like an old, crumbling house with constant issues that only ever gets patch jobs but also has a shiny new extension.

All this to say that some parts of the underground, including the five stations below, are very impractical but we’re quite literally in too deep to make many fundamental changes now, so we must make do. Or heed my advice and avoid.

I still use some of the stations when I must, but I know what I’m getting myself into which gives me a chance to mentally and physically prepare myself. And believe me, prepared you must be.

Bank

Avoid this one at all costs. I promise you that there is absolutely no need to use this station.

It took me far too many years to realise that Bank and Monument are kind of the same station but not really. I could explain it to you but it still wouldn’t help you when you’re trying to find the right entrance from above ground. Apparently it has 16 exits which is ludicrous. Attempting to locate them all sounds like an impossible treasure hunt but with no treasure at the end.

I once spent about 10 to 15 minutes looking for an entrance that I never found, so in the end I gave up and walked to another station instead.

Even if you do successfully make it underground, it’s a labyrinth down there so best of luck.

On paper, it might seem like a well-connected and useful station but it’s not so useful if you get lost and then you’re late so I would advise against even thinking of going there. It’s not worth the hassle. The one exception is if you’re curious about why everyone says to avoid Bank station and you have at least 20 minutes to spare on your journey to find out.

Paddington

I nearly had a meltdown here when I was younger. Ok fine I wasn’t actually that young. I think I had actually reached adulthood already but I was fed up after having retraced my steps three times to find the Hammersmith & City line.

As far as London terminals go, Paddington is already pretty low in my rankings overall, but it plummets right down when factoring in how unclear it is to change between some of the underground lines. The near meltdown was just one example of the confusion that Paddington station can cause.

If the Elizabeth line is having a bad day (it’s only two years old so I guess it’s still in its tantrum toddler phase) and you have to change at Paddington to continue your journey from east to west, you’ve already walked halfway to Heathrow by the time you’re back on the train again.

Paddington station = too much faffing about.

Covent Garden

Far too many people, far too few lifts, far too many stairs.

This station is dominated by two types of people; non-Londoners who don’t know that they could simply walk from Leicester Square or Holborn instead, or by those who know they can walk from another station but just can’t be bothered to.

Then again, Leicester Square isn’t much better but at least it has escalators…

If you’re at Covent Garden station during quieter hours then you’ll get first dibs on one of only four lifts so it’s not too terrible.

But if it’s busy then I hope you have a foldaway stool and a snack with you. Alternatively, you could choose the stairs. All 193 of them. You’ll either be facing the dizzying journey spiralling downwards or you’ll have to brave the asthma-inducing ascent. I don’t know about you but I’d consider all of those options to be the short straw.

Canary Wharf

The whole of Canary Wharf is confusing enough as it is with quays and bridges everywhere, so finding any of the stations, let alone the one you’re looking for, feels like walking through a maze with your left hand on the wall and hoping for the best.

It seems that whoever was involved in planning the various sections of Canary Wharf station decided that rather than creating one station to serve the Canary Wharf area, the station would be the whole of the Canary Wharf area.

The underground station has entrances on either side of a park, the DLR is hidden somewhere in the middle of a shopping centre, and the Elizabeth Line entrance is somewhere beneath the Surf & Turfs of The Big Easy. It’s also closer to almost every other DLR station than its own.

Moving between the Jubilee Line and the Elizabeth line requires a not-so-relaxing walk through the shopping centre with disappointingly unclear signage, and the journey involves a lot of dodging suits if you go at the wrong time. There are signs that point you in the general direction but sometimes they disappear for a while and leave you wondering whether you’re going to end up at the ticket barrier or in the basement of JP Morgan.

Oxford Circus

Just don’t go there.

This station is located slap bang in the middle of Oxford Street. If that alone isn’t enough to deter you from using the station then you clearly haven’t been to Oxford Street.

If for some reason you decide that your shopping must be done on Oxford Street, well firstly, I suggest you reassess whether it really needs to be done on Oxford Street.

If you still decide that you must go and you plan to start your shopping trip from this station, the second thing to know is that you’re doing it all wrong because you’ll have skipped half the street. That means you’ll either have to go back on yourself or miss half of the street.

Bond Street to Tottenham Court Road is the way to do it, or vice versa. That being said, I was once walking behind someone who rather accurately said “They’ve copied and pasted half the street up here” because you can find most shops at least twice on Oxford Street. With that in mind, I would actually suggest that you only do half of the street and then turn off onto Regent’s Street.

The other thing to know about this station is that I once walked past when all four entrances were closed and it was chaos. It was around rush hour so I believe the reasoning was to ease the flow of people going into the station but no one cared about what impact that had above ground. Honestly, it was mayhem and there were people absolutely everywhere.

So there you have it – five London tube stations to avoid if you’ve never been there before or you want to arrive somewhere on time. Happy travelling!